Ok something is going on & it is beginning to drive me crazy. Lately I have had this thing where I am not hungry & when I have to eat nothing sounds good at all. I pretty much eat something because I have to. I am taking this as maybe now being the time to go back to being a vegetarian again, I did it for year a few years ago & I am not sure exactly why I stopped. I may also just stick to eating fish as red meat seems to hurt my stomach.


Do you have this problem & if so what did you do about it ?

What Am I Afraid Of ???

I know this is probably going to sound pretty stupid to a lot of people out there but hey I never said everything I posted here would be smart lol. Every other time I have lost any amount of weight big or little I have always gained it back.

This time around I am not sure if I am more scared of failure or success. I am sure everyone is saying well you should be more scared of failing because if you fail then let's be honest here I am pretty much writing and signing my own death certificate if I don't lose weight.

But can I be the same version of myself at a different weight ? I like who I am personality wise. Can I still have that same personality with a smaller body attached to it. If you take away the weight factor I can say I have been me for the past 32 years. I don't know if I can be a different me in a new body.

I don't know if parts of my personality are they way they are due to my weight or if its just me being me. I have never been one to push people away because of my weight I am a what you see is what you get kind of girl.

Have you noticed that your personality has changed since you lost weight ?

Sick as a dog.

There will be no post due to me having the flu.

Too Old To Play The Game..

This post has nothing to do with weight loss so feel free to skip it if you want. I need to get some stuff off my chest venting is good for the soul right lol. Let me preface this by saying I am 32 yrs old & too d**m old to be playing little kid games. I haven't been a little kid for a long time.

I am tired of the fakes & the phonies. The adults who need to turn every story ever told into something along the lines of  the same thing happen to me. The adults who act out just to get attention. Be you don't try to be anyone else. It may sound corny but honestly if they don't like you for you then they aren't worth your time or friendship. You can't make others like you no matter how hard you try. I have a motto I wasn't placed here on Earth for everyone to like me. You can be the nicest person in the world & help everyone but there is still going to be someone who doesn't like you for whatever reason.

After being in with a group of women online this evening I noticed myself  hating who I have become around some of these women. There is one lady I will call Goober she rocks lol. I think we are very much alike in a lot of ways which is why I think we get along so well. There is a lady I will call Mrs. Country she is the attention seeker. No matter what everything has to come full circle & end off on her. If is doesn't she isn't happy.  Then we have Mrs. South she has changed a lot since I first met her & sadly the change hasn't been for the good. She seems to align herself with people she thinks can make her more popular even if she makes herself look like an idiot while doing so.

I was talking to Goober after & I was telling her I hate who I am becoming. I hate the evil feelings some of the women bring out in me & I need to get away from it. I don't mean evil as in wishing them harm. I mean evil as in I am tired of watching them be fake or phoney. I am too old to play this game of like me, like me look at me, be my friend. I don't have the energy to play that game I didn't play it when I was a kid & I sure as hell am not going to play it now. Also let me be clear about this the ages of all these women even the ones listed is 32 & up so by no means is anyone a naive kid. We are all full gown up women.

The really bad thing is if I distance myself from some of these women I will end up having to distance myself from other women who aren't anything like this. It just so happens that the Drama Queen is pretty much up the butts of some of the non dramatic women.

Any Advice ??

I Want To Try.... Vegetables

I decided to sit down tonight & make a list of Vegetables (that sound interesting or that I have heard of) that I want to try permitting they are sold at one of my grocery stores near me. If you have tried any of these plz let me know what you thought of them & maybe even how you made them. Also if you can think of any other good veggies plz let me know. Thanks

• Acorn Squash
• Artichokes
• Arugula
• Asparagus
• Baby Lima Beans
• Beets
• Bok Choy
• Broccolini
• Broccoli Raab
• Butternut Squash
• Chard
• Chickpeas
• Edamame
• Eggplant
• Garbanzo Beans
• Okra
• Parsnips
• Radish
• Red Cabbage
• Rutabagas
• Snow Peas
• Spaghetti Squash
• Sugar Snap Peas
• Turnip Greens
• Turnips
• Winter Squash
• Yellow Squash

Did I Get Shorter ???

Honestly this is the question I was asking myself the other night when I put on a night shirt I haven't worn in ages. When I put it on I felt it hit my knees. I started looking at myself wondering omg did I shrink ?

So I walked into the bedroom & looked at MG & said I swear I think I shrunk lol. He looked at me like I had two heads or something. So we measured my height & I am still a whopping 5'9. So I didn't lose any height hmm ok maybe my shirt go stretched out but it hasn't been worn.

MG looks at me & says its your stomach now mind you my first instinct was to hit him but I realized what he meant before I did. He was saying that I lost some weight in my stomach area which is why the shirt is actually hitting my knees lol. I have a little bit less stomach to cover.

I honestly don't think I have lost much weight but I can feel a difference in the pain in my back, legs & feet. I don't get winded as fast as I used to. I am getting better at tracking my food. I have prepared all my breakfast & lunches for the rest of the week. The breakfast takes a small bit of cooking which can be done while I am doing other things & lunch is already made just have to grab & go.

I need to look into finding some healthier snacks to eat I am a bit bored with yogurt. I think I am going to pick up some Kashi bars ( have a serious love affair with Kashi lol). I also think maybe adding some granola to my yogurt might shake things up some. What are some of your favorite healthy snacks you like. I need new ideas.

Humpty Dumpty....

Well thankfully I didn't sit on a wall but I did have a big fall. My big fall was I haven't worked out in about a week & a half & I feel like garbage.   I have been nauseous for the past 2 days but other then that I have no excuse for not working out. My eating hasn't been horrible but as usual I haven't been making all my points but I have been close.Tomorrow I am going to get back to exercising I want to try for at least 4 days this week I need to start pushing myself a bit more.

The upside is that this is the first time in 2012 that I have felt under the weather at all (knock on wood). This is a serious improvement from 2011. I guess taking your vitamins everyday & eating good does make a difference.  Thanks to MIO I have been drinking a lot more water. I also drink plain water. Instead of buying bottled water we reuse the gallon jugs that you get when you buy water in the store. We have water fill stations around the neighborhood so for 35 cents you can refill it back up.  I hate the taste of tap water. I really need to get around to a water filer for the sink but even if it tastes better water from the tap is never cold enough.

I need to get more in depth with the groups & boards on Weight Watchers. There are times I want to talk with people about weight stuff & to be honest I don't really have  very many people around here to do that with. The ones I know either don't care they are big or don't think they are & continue to do unhealthy stuff. Or you have the people who think that being a size 10 means that need to lose weight. I do talk to MG about things but he doesn't have a weight problem so even though he listens & talks to me it isn't really the same.

Why I Want To Lose Weight & Get Healthy.....

Everyone has always told me when you need to clear you hear or you need to find some direction all you have to do is write. Whether it makes sense to you or anyone else just write it all down. So that is what I am going to do. I am going to make a list of all the reasons I can think for why I want to lose weight & get healthy so next time I am feeling down or need the motivation to work out & keep on track I have this post to look back at.  In no particular order...

1. Be able to walk down the aisle & not be in pain or out of breath.
2. Sick & tired of being sick & tired.
3. Be able to buy clothes off the rack.
4. Sit comfortably in a airline seat
5. Sit in a car for a long ride comfortably
6. Sleep better
7. Lower my blood pressure
8. Get my type 2 Diabetes under control
9. See my nieces & nephews live their lives
10. Buy jewelry from a store & have it fit.
11. Live a long life with the love of my life.
12. Be able to cross my legs 
13. Feel better overall in general
14. Be happy/comfortable in my own skin.
15. Take ballroom dancing lessons
16. Walk in a Cancer & Heart walk
17. Get a massage

I will add more to the list as I can think of them.  What are your reasons for getting healthy.